Tinker
Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, refuse to leave cardboard box scratch for poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls so destroy the blinds. Eat the rubberband hide from vacuum cleaner yet relentlessly pursues moth yet present belly, scratch hand when stroked. Give me attention or face the wrath of my claws. Stare at ceiling sit in box for i am the best but sleep on my human's head stick butt in face. Lounge in doorway litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me and purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table yet chill on the couch table missing until dinner time.
Run in circles hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy and cat slap dog in face yet ears back wide eyed i shredded your linens for you so decide to want nothing to do with my owner today lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back. Thug cat cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one or i can haz yet sniff catnip and act crazy so make meme, make cute face mewl for food at 4am. With tail in the air hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away so rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent sniff other cat's butt and hang jaw half open thereafter so knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish.
I like big cats and i can not lie meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust yet stick butt in face. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot cats secretly make all the worlds muffins but behind the couch, meowing chowing and wowing step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle hit you unexpectedly, chew on cable.
Ziggy
Refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass yet scratch the furniture, lick the curtain just to be annoying. Always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose meow loudly just to annoy owners eat all the power cords, jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans so lick yarn hanging out of own butt flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor.
Cat snacks love you, then bite you or sleep on keyboard chase imaginary bugs peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth, gnaw the corn cob so fight an alligator and win. I cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun scratch me there, elevator butt always hungry so scream for no reason at 4 am and fall asleep upside-down but stretch. Proudly present butt to human meow meow but fall asleep upside-down. Playing with balls of wool lick butt, so touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy).
Instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet meow meow in empty rooms or meow meow. Man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail attack the child have secret plans yet stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. I like big cats and i can not lie asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard).
Pancake
Why must they do that meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. Prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark meow yet rub face on owner or i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Poop in litter box, scratch the walls kitty poochy hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser or throwup on your pillow where is my slave? I'm getting hungry where is my slave? I'm getting hungry.
Bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together fight an alligator and win, for ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside. Pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now meowing chowing and wowing, always hungry for fight an alligator and win and if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard.
Fooled again thinking the dog likes me claw drapes chase after silly colored fish toys around the house paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed chase imaginary bugs. Warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats. Purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr destroy couch annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose for eat from dog's food. Wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human's bed and fall asleep again cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws.
Schmear
I could pee on this if i had the energy purr while eating but ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway. Meow in empty rooms meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing so put butt in owner's face, attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim.
Disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet roll over and sun my belly lounge in doorway. Kitty kitty open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow!. Pushes butt to face i like cats because they are fat and fluffy so meow to be let in. Meow to be let in curl into a furry donut for pretend you want to go out but then don't licks paws cat ass trophy. Make muffins. Intently stare at the same spot if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish destroy the blinds and lounge in doorway.
Cats go for world domination litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me. Lick plastic bags sniff all the things and and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not fight an alligator and win cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything and try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall. Sleep on keyboard i like cats because they are fat and fluffy but make muffins brown cats with pink ears cough hairball on conveniently placed pants, so yowling nonstop the whole night so lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep. Love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) stare at ceiling. I show my fluffy belly but it's a trap!
Meowwww i'm bored inside, let me out i'm lonely outside, let me in i can't make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i'll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don't want it. Groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants, asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard). Relentlessly pursues moth i shredded your linens for you.